What Men Want - Chapter 39

The chubby nurse, with kind eyes and gentle hands, adjusted the sheet over her midriff. “There you go, all set.”

“Thank you,” Kaori murmured.

The nurse smiled. “No problem. I’m off, so you can have some privacy with your friends and boyfriend.”

“Boyfriend? What boyfriend?”

“The big lug who wouldn’t get out of the way.” The nurse’s eyes twinkled. “He looked ready to grab you and never let go.”

Ryo? Her boyfriend? As if.

Kaori shook her head. “He’s not my boyfriend. We work together. We’re just friends.”

“If you say so,” the woman giggled. “He didn’t look like just a friend sitting by your bed day and night, waiting for you to wake up.”

“Huh?”

The nurse waved her hand. “I’m sure you two will figure it out. If you need me, use that buzzer. I’ll tell them to come in.”

Kaori was still processing—and getting nowhere—when Saeko, her hands full of flowers, Miki, Umibozu, Mick, and Ryo filed in.

While the four positioned themselves around her bed, Ryo stood back, staring out the window, hands rammed into his pockets.

Oh yeah, real boyfriend material. She wondered what the nurse would say.

“These,” Saeko said, arranging the bouquet on the nightstand, “are for you. The florist said they were perfect for small rooms because the scent isn’t cloying.”

“Thank you, Saeko.”

“You’re more than welcome.” Saeko sat on the edge of the bed. “How do you feel?”

Miki sat on the other side of the bed and took Kaori’s hand. “How’s your head?”

Kaori smiled. “Hard as a rock, apparently.” The smile slipped. “Defective, though.”

Saeko grabbed her other hand. “Don’t say that. This is just a minor glitch.”

Miki nodded. “You’ll be as good as new in no time. And you’ll remember everything.”

Kaori blinked at the emphasis on the last word. It didn’t sound like it was said for her benefit; it sounded too loud and too cheerful. Too pointed.

How much has she forgotten? What has she forgotten?

“Fingers crossed.” She blinked again as she noticed Mick staring at her intently. “What?” He was silent, his eyes boring into hers. “Do I have something on my face?”

He kept staring at her in silence, his eyes fervent, a vein appearing in his forehead.

“Uhm...are you okay, Mick?” she asked.

“Fine,” he said through gritted teeth.

“You don’t look fine.” He looked constipated.

He kept staring until Umibozu smacked him on the back of his head. “Knock it off, Angel.”

“It was worth a try,” Mick mumbled.

Saeko rolled her eyes, and Miki muttered something about idiots.

Kaori blinked. What was going on? Had she really woken up? Come to think of it, her lights were probably still out, and this was all a dream, a figment of her imagination. It would explain Mick’s strange behavior: Miki and Saeko looking at her like she was a lost puppy, the nurse claiming Ryo to be her boyfriend...How bizarre was that?

Even Umibozu was acting slightly non-Umibozu-like, standing at the foot of her bed, looking at her. She could feel his intense gaze through his sunglasses.

It was definitely a dream.

The only person acting normally—even her subconscious couldn’t change the man’s attitude—was Ryo. Ignoring her, as usual. Staring silently and broodingly out the window, as usual.

Angry at her for some reason.

As usual.

 

All he wanted to do, all he needed to do, was touch her, hold her, look into her eyes, and drown in them. But he couldn’t, because she didn’t remember, and the doctor said they shouldn’t force her to remember or risk lasting damage.

But damn it all to hell, he wanted to. He wanted to force her to remember, consequences be damned. He needed her to remember.

So the only way to keep his hands to himself was to ram them into his pockets. The only way to keep from looking at her was to keep his back turned and look out the window. The only way to keep from speaking, telling her he loved her, telling her he needed her like he needed his next breath, was to grit his teeth, keep his mouth shut, and suck it up.

The only thing he couldn’t pretend to ignore was her voice. It was like a balm to his ears, a cool breeze against feverish skin, a refreshing drink soothing a parched throat...It made him want to turn, walk to her, take her into his arms, kiss her, promise her forever.

All things he couldn’t do.

He wanted to drive his fist through a wall, but then she’d ask him what he was angry about, and he would have to lie, and he refused to lie to her. He’d promised her no more lies, and he’d keep that promise even if it killed him.

Hence, hands in pockets, eyes averted, and mouth shut.

“Well, I guess we’ll leave you to rest until the doctor decides you can go home,” Mick said cheerfully, prompting the women to fuss over Kaori as they said goodbye.

He could’ve kissed his friend for attempting to end his agony. He couldn’t stay in that room a moment longer. He needed to get out. Mick understood and decided to save him.

Ryo was contemplating the shortest route out of the room that didn’t involve jumping out the window, but Umibozu, mumbling something akin to goodbye, managed to get to the door first, blocking it long enough for Miki and Saeko to join him. The two then, naturally, had to stop in the doorway for one last look and goodbye...

Ryo gritted his teeth. Could the two move already?

“C’mon, I’ll buy you a drink,” Mick said from beside him, slapping him on the back. Leave it to Mick to ride to the rescue yet again. Was the man vying for sainthood?

Ryo nodded gratefully and followed...But unfortunately, it wasn’t meant to be.

“Ryo?”

He froze. Sighed. He’d have to be dead to refuse the plea in her voice.

Mick winced and, with an apologetic pat on the shoulder, left him alone with Kaori.

“Ryo?”

Okay, I can do this. I’ve been doing it for as long as I’ve known her.

He’d been pretending that she meant nothing to him for so long, it should be easy. He closed his eyes for a moment, braced himself, took a deep breath, and turned...

And what he thought was ingrained failed to kick in.

Fuck!

Their gazes collided, and he was lost. If she asked him to give her the moon, he’d do it. If she asked him to take up crochet, he’d do it.

If she asked him to slit his wrists, he’d do it.

He would do anything for her.

“Are you mad at me?”

He had to clear his throat before he could speak. “Why would I be mad at you?”

She looked down at her hands clasped in her lap. “Because I messed up.”

Now that she wasn’t looking at him with those gorgeous, big eyes of hers, he could let his gaze roam. Longing, deep and strong, hit him, cutting against his insides like shrapnel.

“You don’t remember anything, so what makes you think you messed up?”

“I usually do...And then you ignore me.”

She sounded so small, so defenseless—so lost, he couldn’t help himself. He walked to the side of her bed, as close to her as he dared, and she gulped.

Did she think he’d yell at her? He’d cut out his tongue first.

“You didn’t mess up,” he murmured. “And I’m not mad at you.”

I’m mad at fate for taking you away from me so soon.

She gulped again and lifted her eyes, meeting his gaze, and he suddenly knew what love-sick felt like.

“What did I forget?” she whispered.

For the second time that day, he wanted to cry. “Don’t worry about it,” he murmured. “One step at a time.”

Then, to calm down and ground himself, he allowed himself one touch. He gently tousled her hair, enjoying her small smile.

“Rest a bit, then, when the doctor lets you go, I’ll take you home. Okay?”

She nodded. “Okay.”

Ryo swallowed convulsively and, unable to help himself, a slave to this woman for all eternity, leaned down and pressed his lips against her forehead. Closed his eyes for a moment. He didn’t dare linger longer, or he might never leave, never let her go.

The look of surprise, bewilderment, and incomprehension in her eyes was like a knife to the gut. She was looking at him like she’d never seen him before, and he couldn’t bear it. Not after all they’ve shared.

Gritting his teeth, he strode out of the room without another word or backward glance.