Reckoning - Chapter 6

Scratching his bare ass, Ryo stumbled into his bathroom, belched, and stepped into the shower. He turned on the cold water faucet and pushed his head under the icy spray. As the cold water hit his face, he finally started feeling normal again. Or as close to normal as someone like him could feel.

He’s been feeling like shit lately. Shit of the smelly, runny variety. Warmed up.

He’d forgotten what that felt like in these past four years. Feeling like shit. Like scum. Like an automaton built for destruction and inflicting pain. Feeling less than human.

He should’ve known it was all an illusion. A fairy tale. Make-believe. A lie.

He was shit. He was scum. He was an automaton only capable of bringing pain and destruction. He wasn’t human.

She had made him feel human, but she had lied. And she was gone.

He’d spent the last four days in hell. The first two, because he’d been worried sick about Kaori, not knowing where she was, searching for her, kicking himself for being an idiot...

And the next two days, because he’d learned that she wasn’t Kaori and had never been Kaori.

He hadn’t gone home that first evening. After finding out. After Saeko had told them.

He’d gone to Golden Gai, got shitfaced drunk, found a willing woman, and fucked her in a narrow passageway.

Afterward, when he’d gotten rid of the condom, zipped his pants, and was about to leave without a word or a backward look, her words had stopped him in his tracks.

“Who’s Kaori?”

He’d been instantly sober. Where had that come from? Despite himself, he had had to ask. “Why?”

“You said her name when you came.”

If she’d pulled a gun at that moment and shot him, he wouldn’t have been more surprised. He’d have appreciated it, in fact. He’d turned around. He must’ve looked feral, because she’d scurried backwards into the alley, deeper into the shadows. He’d stormed toward her, grabbed her wrist, and pulled her toward him with a snarl.

The words had died on his lips, gotten stuck in his throat, choked him because he’d finally gotten a good look at her.

He’d never seen her before, at least not that he’d remembered; in the corner, she hadn’t looked familiar. She hadn’t been very young—thank God—not particularly tall or on the pretty side. But her eyes had been light brown, bordering on hazel. And her hair, wisps escaping the pins holding it in a bun at her nape, had been red. Obviously died, but the color was similar to—

And then he’d remembered why he’d chosen her. In his drunken haze, in the shadows, he could’ve pretended she looked almost like—

He had let the woman go as if scalded, scrambled out of the alley, stumbled around the nearest corner and emptied his stomach in a conveniently placed flowerpot.

He’d been searching for her. He’d wanted to fuck her, get lost inside her. He’d said the name he’d known her by when he’d come.

It had never happened before, not in the four years they’d lived together. The searching for her. He hadn’t had to search. She’d always been right there, in his house, waiting for him, at his side even when he didn’t want her to be. She’d always been there.

Until she wasn’t.

And yes, he’d always wanted to fuck her, get lost inside her, make love to her, make her his, become hers. He’d probably said her name every time he’d come in the last few years—ever since he’d realized just what he felt for her—because it had always been her face, her eyes, he’d seen behind his eyelids when he’d fucked other women. When he’d betrayed her with other women. Betrayed them, what they could’ve been.

What they could never be.

Pressing his palms against the tiles, Ryo let his head drop down onto his chest as the icy spray thundered against his shoulders and back.

He hadn’t gone out at night again, not after the debacle in Goldei Gai. He couldn’t. The thought of finding another willing female body, feeling a stranger’s legs clench around his hips, hearing a stranger moan in his ears suddenly made his skin crawl. The thought of pumping his hips between a stranger’s thighs, coming in a stranger’s arms was suddenly revolting. Disgusting. It made him want to puke his guts out as he’d done that first night.

He’d kept drinking, though. At home, in the dark, he’d kept drinking. Drinking to forget.

To forget her. To forget her eyes, her smile, her body, the intoxicating smell of her skin. To forget her lies, her betrayal. To forget his feelings for her.

To forget his life, to forget who he had been, who he was, who he’s become because of her.

To forget...

Unlike previous times, it didn’t help. The drink didn’t help, no matter how much he drank or how much he tried to forget. It didn’t help.

He might forget his life, forget who he was, who he’s become...But he couldn’t forget her. Because deep down, he didn’t want to forget.

And as he sat on the floor in his living room, back against the sofa, in the dark, glass in hand, bottle within easy reach, her photo was on the coffee table. As he drank himself into oblivion, he kept staring at a photo of her. Smiling wide, eyes alight with laughter, her auburn hair almost burning in the sunlight.

And as he drank himself into oblivion, he couldn’t look away.

Under the icy shower spray, Ryo grimaced as he suddenly became unbearably hard. Time to start drinking again. Or maybe he’d go down to Cat’s Eye for a quick lunch, showing himself so they’d know he was still alive, before Umi came to kick his door down.

At the thought of food, his stomach, after two days of a pure liquid diet, growled.

It was decided he’d get some food to line his insides and then go back to drinking.

But first...

He slid his hand down his belly, grabbed his cock, and closed his eyes.

And there she was, at the back of his eyelids. Her face, her eyes, her smile...

X Y Z

Before she entered the interrogation room, Kaori schooled her features into an impassive mask. It wouldn’t do to laugh.

Though there was plenty to laugh about.

She’d lied to Mick two days ago, when she’d told him there were no cameras. There were plenty, covering all angles. And now she had more than enough videographic material for possible blackmailing use in the future. One never knew.

Feeling her mouth twitch, she cleared her throat, bit the inside of her cheek, and opened the door. And all her mental preparation almost went up the chimney.

The polished, sleek, suave Mick Angel from two days ago was no more. His blond hair was greasy and sticking every which way, his eyes were red-rimmed and blazing with anger, his mouth was set in a thin line, his chin, cheeks, and neck were covered in blond fuzz, his once pristine white shirt was wrinkled and stained under his armpits, the tie was undone and flung into a corner, and his perfectly tailored jacket was bunched around his wrists, where the cuffs had prevented him from fully taking it off.

Kaori wrinkled her nose. The blessing of video-only mode was the absence of smell. The room held a definite putrid whiff to it; she should’ve turned on the ventilation.

“You bitch,” Mick hissed. “You sadistic little bitch!”

She grinned. “Why, thank you.”

With a snarled curse, he kicked the table leg. It was bolted to the floor, so it didn’t budge.

Oh, fuck it. She laughed. She had to. The image before her was absolutely priceless. He looked like a disheveled, dirty, petulant child.

He glowered. “Yeah, go ahead and laugh. When I get out of these handcuffs, I’ll—”

“You’ll what?” she interrupted, tucking her thumbs into her pockets. “Throw your piss bottle at me? Stink me to death?” She cocked her head. “Mick, darling, you haven’t eaten in two days, you’re dehydrated, your body’s burning fuel it doesn't have...I, on the other hand, am at my peak and have skills you know nothing about. If you think you can take me, just say the word and I’ll gladly wipe the floor with you.”

“And you have your gun,” he growled.

She smirked. “I don’t need my gun to hand you your ass, Mick.”

For a second, he stared at her wide-eyed, then shook his head.

“What?”

“Nothing.” He shook his head again. “For a second, I thought—”

“Thought what?”

Mick shrugged. “If it weren’t for the voice and the fact you’re a woman, I could swear I was looking at Saeba Ryo.”

She frowned. Where did that come from? “Should I take that as a compliment?”

“Take it as you want.” His eyes were twinkling. “It’s just the nonchalant posture, the self-confidence, and that smirk. You’re Ryo with tits.”

She shuddered. “Not the image I wanted in my head.”

“A magnificent pair of tits,” Mick elaborated.

Kaori rolled her eyes. He’s forgotten his anger rather quickly. “I’m not your type, Mick.”

He winked. “Why not?”

“I’m single.”

“No one’s perfect.”

She sighed and walked toward him, stopped short, and waved a hand in front of her face. “Jesus, that’s ripe.”

He grinned. “There was no more space in the bottle.”

She should’ve worn a hazmat suit. Or at least gloves. “Come on, let’s get you out of here.” She uncuffed him from the table.

“Why?” he asked.

“You’re free to go.” She grabbed his elbow and pulled him to his feet. The smell got worse, and she almost gagged.

He blinked at her. “What?”

She rolled her eyes, pulled him down the hallway, and pushed him into the elevator. “Now you pretend you don’t speak Japanese?”

She realized her mistake a little too late. In the confines of the elevator, the rankness quickly concentrated until she could almost taste the foulness.

“You’re beautiful, you know,” he said with a grin. “Especially your eyes. When you’re angry, they’re mesmerizing.”

She rolled her eyes again, breathing in through her mouth.

“And your lips...I want to kiss them.” He winked. “I want to kiss you all over.”

She pushed him out of the elevator and smacked him upside his head. “A few minutes ago, you were angry at me, calling me a bitch.”

“I don’t hold grudges,” he told her, cracking his neck. “They mess with my chi.” A pause. “Besides, I know why you locked me up.”

“Oh, really?”

“You were trying to protect Ryo.” He grinned, his eyes bright. “Which makes you his woman. Now, I have to seduce you so you won’t suffer with his death.”

She laughed. “First, Saeba doesn’t need my protection. Second, I’m not his woman. And third, I’d lay low if I were you and forget about seductions.”

“Why would I do that?”

“Because St. Damiano II had entered the contiguous zone of Japan.” She watched as his eye twitched. “Depending on how much hurry he’s in, Kaibara will be in Tokyo harbor by this afternoon at the earliest. You know what that means, right?”

“Shit.”

It was obvious he knew, but she just wanted to twist the knife. “You failed your mission, Mick. Saeba is still alive. Now it’s your ass on the line.” She pulled the handcuff key out of her pocket. “Even if you do kill your target, Kaibara will still hunt you down, because you didn’t keep to the deadline. The way I see it, Mick honey, Ryo’s your best bet. At least, if he kills you, you’ll see it coming.”

She took a step back and threw the key toward the farthest corner of the empty garage. It landed just shy of his small suitcase.

“Go fetch!”

And she calmly left him there, gaping after her.

She was almost at her black Ford Mustang—no beat-up Corolla for her; she had her standards—when his words stopped her.

“I don’t know your name, lovely lady,” he yelled, his voice reverberating off the bare walls of the empty garage, “but I think I’m in love with you.”

She grinned at him over the roof of her car. “You really should eat something, Mick, you’re getting delusional!”

She slipped behind the wheel, started the engine, and left the garage with a screech of tires. One last look in the rearview mirror showed Mick Angel still staring after her with a wide grin on his face. Kaori couldn’t help but smile.

What an idiot.