The drive back to their apartment building was spent in tomb-like silence. The vibrations of embarrassment were almost palpable and if one listened very carefully, their tumultuous thoughts could be heard in the small confines of their car.

Kaori stared down at her hands tightly clasped in her lap, not daring to lift her gaze, God forbid looking at him. The man that just an hour ago had made her the happiest woman on the planet with just a few simple words.

“I’ll survive for the woman^* I love.”

Right.

She sighed softly. Everybody knew love was a broad subject. Lots of things could be defined by it. Brotherly love, love of a mother for her child, love between friends. There wasn’t just that love she wanted. The one love that always came to mind at the mention of the word.

Gentle words whispered in the silence, soft murmurs exchanged in the darkest hours of the night, companionship when things got rough, serenity when everything was peachy perfect, long, languid kisses, hours spent just looking at the other sleep.

Wild monkey love.

Heat equaling the one on the surface of Venus flooded her cheeks and she was surprised the interior of the car didn’t turn into a Finnish sauna. She wanted what her friend Miki and her fresh-out-of-the-oven husband had. She just wanted to be loved, to be accepted for who she was. Was that too much to ask? It’s not like she wanted world peace, dammit!

Ryo risked another longing glance at his partner. She sat there, staring at her hands, not saying a word, not looking at him, not asking for any kind of explanation. Nothing.

Well, maybe it was for the best, maybe he didn’t want to talk. Nope, he definitely didn’t want to talk. Because talking would mean explaining what had happened, repeating what he’d said. And to do that, he’d have to think about it, he’d have to explain it to himself, come to grasps with what he’d done.

Okay, maybe it had been a stupid move, but it was done and over with. There was no way of going back and deep down, he didn’t want to go back, he didn’t regret a single word. He didn’t regret telling her—well, he didn’t exactly say it, did he?—that he loved her. Maybe she didn’t get it—No, she wasn’t stupid, she got it alright.

A stab of panic hit him. Now what? Where do they go from here? How was he supposed to act now? Were they a couple now? Did she expect him to do the couple-thing? Did she expect him to do the couple-thing in public? Well, she could just forget it. It was bad enough everybody took it out on her for being his partner, if they knew for certain she was his—his everything—it would never end. He was okay with doing the couple-thing within the four walls of their home, though.

A glance in the rearview mirror told him what he suspected. There it was, that stupid, idiotic grin with just a drop of drool as a cherry on the cake. He really should get rid of that expression, she hated it. He hated it, too, but he had to keep up pretenses. But with her, it wouldn’t be a pretense and she deserved a normal, seductive, come-hither-and-I’ll-eat-you-up smile and not look-here-I’m-a-pervert-and-can’t-wait-to-get-into-your-pants look.

He shook his head, once again checking his expression in the mirror. Yes, that was better. He glanced at her, she was still staring at her hands. His heart sank. What if it was too late? What if she refused him?

X Y Z

Kaori distractedly played with the potatoes on her plate. She wasn’t hungry and the company wasn’t the best. Well, her company was Ryo and she cherished every second he spent with her, but tonight was different. They haven’t spoken a word since leaving Miki and Umibozu’s wedding hours ago and the silence stretching between them was getting heavier and more unbearable by the second.

Somewhere between showering and finishing preparing dinner, she’s come to a shocking and heart-breaking realization.

Ryo was in love.

There was no mistaking the gleam in his eyes as he said he would survive for the woman he loved, the fervor and utter conviction in his voice. He was in love.

He just wasn’t in love with her.

And that sucked. Majorly sucked!

And how had she come to the conclusion that it wasn’t her he was in love with? That one was easy. A man in love would at least try to strike up a conversation with her, if not simply pull her into his arms and kiss her until her knees went weak and she couldn’t think straight.

And had he done any of it? Pull her into his arms—no. Kiss her until her knees went weak and she couldn’t think straight—no. Try to strike up a conversation with her—no.

And there was no chance in Hell—or Heaven for that matter—that she would be the one to say something first. She’d rather cut out her tongue and then stab it for good measure. She’s spent eight years humiliating herself for the man, hoping against hope that one day maybe he’d tell her he at least cared. And that day had never come.

Now that she knew the truth, she’d be damned before she’d humiliate herself again. She just wanted to finish her dinner, stuff everything in the dishwasher, and lock herself in her room, where she’d proceed with wallowing in self pity and moping until she fell asleep.

Good plan!

Ryo watched her play with her dinner, the words on the tip of his tongue. But each time he wanted to speak, something deep inside him held him back. Call it shyness—hey, the Stallion of Shinjuku does not get shy!—call it issues going way back, call it mind-numbing, paralyzing panic of her possible rejection, but he just couldn’t utter a single syllable.

Fed up, Kaori pushed back her chair, grabbed her plate, and went into the kitchen. As she was about to close the dishwasher, she heard Ryo behind her. Slightly turning, she just extended her hand.

Ryo docilely handed over his own plate, his eyes never leaving her profile. Now he had proof. Whatever she’d felt for him has long been extinguished and she was trying to keep him at a distance not wanting to reject him openly. But she was doing it anyway. She was rejecting him. He had waited too long and he’s lost her.

Slamming the dishwasher shut, Kaori pressed the start button, blinking furiously to disperse the tears gathering in the corners of her eyes. She would not give him the satisfaction of seeing her cry! Eyes downcast, she slipped past him.

His fists clenching at his sides, Ryo gritted his teeth. The woman could at least have the decency of looking him in the eye, and tell him to take a hike. It would be better than this silent treatment. As far as human relations went, Kaori sucked at them. Well, he would have none of it. Eyes narrowed, he strode out of the kitchen.

He was going after her and they were going to talk!



She’s locked her door!

He cursed under his breath. She never locked her door. Never! It was just another clear sign she wanted him the hell away from her.

Well, tough!

“Kaori!” He banged his fist on the wood. Nice work, Neanderthal! “Open this door!”

She sat up on her bed, brushing at her salty cheeks with her sleeve. Maybe if she was quiet, he’d go away and leave her be.

Ryo growled softly, banging on the door again. “I know you’re in there. Open this door. Now!”

Kaori sniffled. “No!”

“I’m not going anywhere. Open.” Bang. “This.” Bang. “Fucking.” Bang! “Door!”

“Go away!”

“Fine,” he growled, taking a step back.

With a whimper, Kaori dropped back onto her bed. He couldn’t wait to go to the one he loved, then. Life sucks!

With a nasty curse, Ryo kicked the door down. He was in the room in two strides.

Kaori was off her bed in a heartbeat, her body shaking with indignation. “Who the hell do you think you are, kicking my door down? This is my room, I can keep it locked if I want to, you—”

“Oh, shut up!” he interrupted her. “If you want to bash my head in, do it, I don’t give a crap, but we are going to talk and if that was the only way to get in here—”

“Talk?!” she screeched. “I have no intention of talking to you, you bastard. Get the fuck out of my room!”

“Mind your language!” he roared.

“I’ll talk as I please!” she yelled back. She pivoted on her heel, stalking toward the window. “The cheek on you, Saeba Ryo. You spent eight years feeding me the illusion that one day everything might be different, only to stomp all over my feelings every chance you got. Nothing can be different.” She turned to glare at him. “You made it painfully clear today, so please, I’m tired of being humiliated by you!” She took a deep breath. “Just get out... Please, go away.”

Ryo slowly blinked, trying to process through all the information. A grin slowly spread over his features. As usual, his little Kaori had gotten it all wrong.

Kaori rolled her eyes. “Of course, go ahead, laugh at me. I’m used to it.” Her eyes widened as she saw him approach. “What are you doing? Get away from me!”

“I don’t think so.” He put one hand on her waist and the other at her nape.

“What the—”

Ryo slanted his mouth over hers, effectively silencing her. He parted her lips with one masterful sweep of his tongue, invading the hot, moist cavern of her mouth. His tongue brushed over her teeth, gently massaged the roof of her mouth, relishing in the feast like a ravaging conqueror, possessing her, claiming her.

Kaori was too stunned to move, too stunned to breathe, too stunned to make a single sound, too stunned to even blink. Ryo was kissing her. Ryo was kissing her. Ryo was kissing her! She couldn’t be more shocked if he told her he was gay.

With a soft groan, he lifted his head, leaving just enough space between their mouths, so their lips brushed feathery soft. He slowly smiled. “You know, it’s been a while since I last kissed, but I’m sure things haven’t changed that much. It still takes two.”

Kaori blinked up at him. “Huh?”

His smile turned into a grin. “What you said…I’m no expert, but you didn’t sound indifferent. So why aren’t you doing something instead of just standing here, hanging in my arms?”

She was indeed hanging in his arms like a limp doll. She blinked again. “Huh?”

He softly brushed his lips against hers. Once, twice, three times.

She shuddered and sighed.

“Kaori,” he murmured. “Would you do something?”

She still hasn’t moved. Kaori found that a little peculiar. He was kissing her, she knew that, she wasn’t stupid, but why was she unable to move, or comprehend just what exactly he wanted her to do, was beyond her. “Like—” It came out like a croak. She cleared her throat, staring dumbly into his eyes. “Like what?”

Ryo chuckled. It was funny seeing her like this. It was good to know he could have such an effect on her. She could beat the crap out of him on a whim, yet now, she was utterly silent, beside a few words and sighs, and completely unmoving. Oh yeah, he was good. “Kiss me back, you ninny.”

“Oh.” Her eyes widened as it dawned. “Oh!”

He nodded with a wicked grin. “Yeah...oh.”

Kaori blushed furiously. No matter how hard she tried to move, do anything but hang there, helpless as a newborn, she simply couldn’t. Her body was like jelly.

“Ehm, that might be a little difficult, Ryo.” How could she have a civilized—well, let’s not exaggerate—conversation with the man who has just turned her world upside down? How the hell could she stand—well, hang limply—there, looking into his gorgeous, sexy eyes, wanting to kiss him with an urgency that made her bones rattle, yet unable to move a single muscle…And calmly talk to him!

Ryo was slowly starting to lose his patience. Was she going to kiss him or not? He could do it, of course, but what if she was just as unresponsive as the first time? He needed some kind of confirmation from her, and the best one he could think of was for her to kiss him. Then he remembered. “I know you don’t have much experience, baby,” he murmured. “But it’s not that hard. Just give it a try, it will come naturally.”

She was incensed, but her body was still uncooperative. “It’s not that!” she snapped.

“What is it then?” His arms tightened around her. “Don’t you want to?”

“Of course I want to.” She rolled her eyes. For such a womanizer, he knew squat, didn’t he? “It’s just that…” She blushed furiously. “It seems I cannot move.”

Ryo blinked. Then, he threw his head back in roared with laughter. When nothing happened, not even a kick, he grew serious. “You really can’t move.”

“Gee, Einstein, you figured it all out by yourself?”

“No need to get sarcastic, Kaori.” He glared down at her. “I’ve never rendered a woman incapacitated with just a kiss.”

Great! Like she needed a reminder of all the other women. “What do you want? A standing ovation? I’ll make sure to post it in the newspaper first thing tomorrow morning.”

He tenderly looked into her lovely face and smiled.

“What?” she snapped. “Are you just going to stand there, smiling at me like I’m some kind of lost puppy? Do something!”

“Oh, I intend to,” he purred. He lifted her in his arms and dropped her gently onto the bed.

She bounced twice and glared at him. Her muscles were still locked in place. Damn, her body was starting to be annoying. Her eyes widened as he kicked off his shoes and crawled onto the bed. With his knees on either side of her legs, he pulled his T-shirt off over his head and threw it in the corner. Kaori’s mouth watered, then her stomach knotted. What was he trying to do? She was helpless, he could do anything.

“What—What are you doing?”

He shrugged nonchalantly and dropped down, leaning onto his elbows so they were nose to nose. “You asked me to do something.”

“Well, not that.”

He smiled mischievously. “Get your mind out of the gutter, Kaori.”

She turned burgundy.

“The first kiss made you go all mushy—”

“Hey!”

“Maybe the second will fix it.”

She ran the tip of her tongue over her suddenly dry lips. “How can you tell? What if it doesn’t work?”

He winked. “Well, I’ll just have to keep trying, won’t I?”

Slowly, leisurely, he lowered his head, maintaining eye contact until the last possible moment. As he gently brushed his lips over hers, his eyelids lowered on a soft groan. He didn’t need to urge her, her mouth opened on its own accord and the tip of her wicked little tongue darted out to tackle his. Ryo shuddered.

Kaori moaned into his mouth and tilted her head to the side to give him better access. She’s never kissed somebody before, but as Ryo said, it came naturally. She instinctively knew what he liked and as their tongues dueled, parried, and danced, she could feel her muscles relax and her body getting warm. Her head swam at the sensuous assault of his delectable mouth and her fingers and toes started tingling.

Ryo burrowed one hand in her hair, holding her head at just the right angle, as his other hand ran up and down along her ribcage. As he cupped her breast, molding it to his touch, she arched her back off the bed and whimpered.

He lifted his head, smiling down into her languid eyes. “I knew it would work.”

“Shut up.” Her arms sneaked around his neck and she pulled him back down. “And kiss me.”

And the rest, as the say, is history.

The End

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^* according to the new translation in the City Hunter Complete Edition Vol. 32