What Men Want - Chapter 20

Ryo stared at Kaori. At Kaori wet. At Kaori wet and naked, but for that towel. At Kaori, wet and naked in the middle of Mick’s apartment.

Kaori stood in the middle of Mick’s apartment, wet and naked, but for the towel clutched to her breasts, her back to the door. The door, where Ryo stood, staring at her. Oh, how she wished he would say something. Anything to alleviate the tension. She was rooted to the spot, unable to turn, unable to move a muscle...Unable to breathe. Why didn’t he say anything? Why didn’t he think anything? There was complete silence behind her, and it made her want to scream.

If he believed that something had happened between her and Mick, he should think about something. But she couldn’t pick on even a quip about Mick’s standards dropping so low as to sleep with transvestites. There was nothing. She had to strain to even hear him breathe.

Ryo was still as a statue, his fists and jaw clenched so tight he was sure they would break at any moment. He had to stand still, because if he moved, he’d surely trash the place. And then he’d find Mick and break every single bone in his body. And then...

He stared at her back, willing her to turn and face him, but he was also grateful she didn’t. He didn’t know how he would be able to look into her face, into her eyes. Not after this. Never after this.

His body was wound so tight, he was hurting. But what hurt the most was his heart. He was hurting deep in his soul, and there was not a damn thing he could do about it. Even if he shot himself in the head, he’d probably still hurt. Ain’t love a bitch?

There was such a void behind her; Kaori felt as if there was no one there, but she knew he was still behind her. Still unmoving. His eyes still on her. How could someone appear as if he wasn’t there? It felt as if a black hole was behind her. A space of nothingness and stillness. He gave nothing away. How could he do that? At such a time? Wasn’t that proof enough that everything Mick told her during the night was absolutely not true? Wasn’t such an absolute silence proof enough that Ryo didn’t feel anything more than mere affection for her? Wasn’t that proof enough that he wasn’t in love with her? Because surely a man in love would rage at such obvious evidence of infidelity from the woman he loved.

Taking a deep breath, she finally turned, and her heart stilled as she looked at him. His eyes were dark and unreadable. Two swirling, fathomless pools reflecting the images around him. She could see nothing in his eyes. Nothing that could give away what he felt, what he thought. He was a picture of calm and stillness. He looked like a statue.

“Please, say something,” she whispered shakily.

He actually shuddered. He, the great City Hunter, the impenetrable Saeba Ryo, shuddered at that whisper. That tiny, fragile girl made him shudder with just a few words.

Seeing his face darken, Kaori started shaking. Why the hell couldn’t she hear his thoughts? And to think, just a few minutes ago, she tried to think of a way not to hear them. But when she desperately wanted to know what he was thinking, she couldn’t. The void around him just kept getting bigger and deeper, taking him farther and farther away from her.

“Ryo...” There was a desperate plea in her voice.

A corner of his mouth curled in a cynical smirk.

She swallowed. That didn’t bode well. She’s never seen such an expression on his face. It made her stomach clench in apprehension.

“Well, well, well,” he drawled. “Mick should get a medal.”

She drew a shaky breath.

“I didn’t know he was that desperate for some pussy.”

Kaori blinked, tears stinging the backs of her eyes at his venomous tone.

“And you. Oh, Miss Makimura. With all that prissy behavior and sermons about chastity, remaining a virgin until the wedding night, and all that crap.” Ryo cocked his head, every word singeing his tongue. “For such a prude, who would’ve thought you were such an easy lay.”

A lone, silent tear trickled down her cheek.

Ryo stared at that tear, surprised at not feeling even a tiny bit of remorse for the words he’d just spat in her face. How could a man say such things to the only woman he had ever loved? How could a man say such things to the woman who made him live again? To the woman who showed him what friendship and love meant? How could a man say such things to a woman who was his world?

How have they ended up like this? How has it all deteriorated into such a situation?

What has she done? Why did she go to Mick’s? Why didn’t she wait at home and try to calm down? Why could she never think things through? Why did she always end up in a mess?

Why did she wake up last night? Why couldn’t she just keep dreaming with Ryo? Why did she have to read minds? Why had she had to bang her head the other day?

Why had she woken up in the hospital in the first place?!

How did they end up like this? How?! Why?!

Ryo felt sick. Why didn’t she fight back? She, who always had a ready comeback at hand, was now standing there in silence, staring at him. Why didn’t she hurl a mallet at him? Why did she just stand there without saying a word, without defending herself, letting him insult her the way he did? Because she didn’t have anything to defend herself from? Because everything he’s said was true?

C’mon, Kaori, say something. You can’t just let me get away with something like this.

“What do you want me to say?” she whispered, tears still trickling down her cheeks. “It’s obvious what you think of me, so why bother?”

She looked like all life had left her. And he was glad! She’d slept with his friend; she’d betrayed him; she’d trampled on all that he felt for her. She’d betrayed him! He had all the right to call her a—

“Kaori, I’m back, and you’ll never believe who I met on the—” Mick stopped dead in the doorway. “Shit!”

Umibozu took one look at the tableau in the living room and uttered a muffled groan. That was not good. Mick has told him about Kaori’s late-night visit, though he had a hard time understanding how Kaori, smart girl that she was, would believe that her dreams might have any prophetic characteristics. But the fact was, she’d run to Mick’s in the middle of the night, and Ryo found her right there in the morning, though in a slightly disheveled fashion. And judging by the look on her face and the rigid stance of his old enemy, Saeba had probably let his tongue run loose. God only knew what he’d spat in her face for her to look ready to collapse.

You stupid asshole!

Kaori just stood there as if stricken.

Mick took a placating step forward. He knew what the scene might look like to Ryo, with Kaori in his apartment and obviously fresh out of the shower, but he also knew he had to explain. God only knew what Ryo had said to her. Fuck him and his short temper!

"Look, man—” he began.

Ryo pivoted, his dark eyes burning. “Oh, look who’s here.” He turned back to Kaori. “Your lover!” he spat.

Mick clenched his fists. “Ryo—”

“Congratulations, Mick. You got what you wanted from the start, didn’t you?” Ryo’s cynical smirk was still firmly in place. “You got what almost every guy in Shinjuku dreams about.” His tone was bitter. “You got into Makimura Kaori’s pants. They’ll probably build you a statue.”

Behind him, Kaori started to sob quietly.

Mick glared at his best friend. “It’s not what it looks like.”

Ryo lifted his hands. “Please, buddy. You don’t have to find excuses; just because she was such a lousy lay, you had to get out before the sheets were dry.”

Kaori gulped.

Ryo laughed. “Don’t tell me. You brought Umi-chan along in case she became difficult?” He was still laughing on the way through the door. “You should’ve left some money on the nightstand. It works every time.”

Mick stared incredulously at the doorway, then clenched his fists. “Son of a bitch!” he snarled, stalking after his idiotic friend.

Umibozu’s glasses misted. What should he do? What should he say? What did one say to a woman who had just been called a whore?

Kaori flinched.

Clearing his throat, he lifted the paper bag he held. “Kaori...”

She seemed not to have heard him. She seemed not to see him.

“I brought this along in case I ran into you...in your pajamas.” He cleared his throat again. “They’re Miki’s, so they should fit.”

She still just stood there.

“Are you okay?” he asked softly.

She stared into nothingness, tears streaming down her cheeks.

With a sigh, he lightly dropped the bag onto the floor. With one last glance, he left her alone, his heart heavy.